A Reality Dream

I had a dream about Cede last night…first one in a long time. The ones I’ve had up to this point have been based in reality…she was gone and just visiting me in my dreams. But last night was different. It was what could have been. She was home and her hair was growing back. We had found a bone marrow match for her…one of her sweet nurses…and they saved her life. The feeling of seeing her on my couch, in my home, alive and breathing, holding her in my arms was exhilarating. Then I woke up and the reality that she is not here set in again. It happens every morning, but last night I was holding her, she was real. It is a horrible reality I live…so many parents live. Hug your babies tight. Love them like there’s no tomorrow. For us, there isn’t.