Tonight we drove down the road a mile, maybe, to watch the sunset and take a walk on the beach. This particular place has a path over the dunes that leads to the ocean. There were several deer in the tall grasses watching us as we followed the path winding around the dunes. If you stand at the tallest point on this path, you can see the ocean and the sound. The sunset tonight was beautiful. The sky was clear and a sliver of moon was shining above the fading colors of the sun. We walked down to the ocean and were there only a minute when we started to notice that dark, low clouds were moving in fast and we couldn’t see very far over the water anymore, just the edge where the waves hit the shore. We turned around and the sunset was gone, just like that. No more moon. No more colors. Just clouds all around us.

The sky was completely dark. It happened so fast. We have learned that things change drastically and sometimes without warning here. It’s just the way it is. You have to enjoy the beautiful moments, knowing they will soon change. This is how we have learned to live. We learned from Cede, from her beautiful little life that was just a glimpse, from the loss of her. This way of living, not expecting anything, appreciating every beautiful moment we are given no matter how small, knowing storms will come..here it all makes sense to us. And maybe that’s why we can’t seem to leave this place yet.

Dear Cede,

You had it figured out, Baby. You were always in the moment..not living for what came next. It’s what made you a good friend to all your buddies fighting cancer beside you. It’s why all the therapy dogs loved you so much. It’s why living without you is so hard to do.